Cara untuk menutupi suatu rahasia adalah tidak berbicara tentangnya.
By myself.
Leave a CommentSeeing the world through words
Category: Chatters
Bangunlah tangga batu [gambar batu disusun] menuju kesuksesan dari batu yang ditimpukkan [gambar orang ditimpuk batu] orang lain kepadamu. – Baskoro XI-6 –
Dari buku tugas LDKMS V 2011.
Leave a CommentI’m not a stoic, I can’t be one. I can’t not have feelings, feelings are real. Even so, I can still cover them. That’s why I am wearing this imaginary mask.
Well, why do I need to hide my face?
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Image cropped from here.
3 CommentsTidak terasa sudah setahun saya jadi siswa SMA. Sudah jadi apa setahun ini?
Diterima di sekolah unggulan. Katanya sekolah saya itu salah satu dari 13 sekolah terbaik di Indonesia, atau menurut versi yang lain, satu dari 35. Waktu pertama kali masuk, perasaan pertama yang saya rasakan adalah: kaget. Kenapa? SMP saya dulu hanya berisi 38 orang seangkatan, sedangkan di SMA 288 orang. Jumlah itu hampir dua kali jumlah murid di sekolah lama saya (yang notabene adalah gabungan SMP dan SMA yang seyayasan). Tapi yang benar-benar membuat saya tersentak adalah MOS-nya yang sangat…. berkesan. Baru kali itu saya mengerjakan tugas dan mencari barang keperluan MOS sampai tidak tidur. Baru kali itu juga saya benar-benar belajar bekerja sama dan berinteraksi dengan orang-orang di sekitar saya. Mungkin memang dasarnya males dan rada hikkikomori aja, sih. – –
Masalah lainnya adalah kesulitan dalam menerima pelajaran. Saya yang terbiasa dididik konsep-konsep dasar semata di SMP harus dicekoki materi pelajaran SMA yang bisa dibilang sangat advanced. Jadilah saya kena remedial di nyaris setiap ulangan. Tapi nggak masalah, lha wong biasanya yang kena hampir sekelas, bahkan kadang seangkatan. 😆
Gara-gara MOS, saya merasa terpanggil untuk (coba-coba) mengikuti kegiatan keorganisasian di sekolah. Memang semula rada kewalahan, tapi lama-lama terasa manfaatnya: kemampuan berkomunikasi dan manajemen jadi meningkat. Saya yang dulu anak rumahan sekarang malah pulang malam hampir setiap hari.
Dan gara-gara berorganisasi itulah saya jadi mengurangi porsi waktu untuk bersenang-senang (terkurangi sih sebenernya 😕 ). Pulang malam dan tugas-tugas yang membeludak belum lagi ulangan yang super susah membuat saya jadi jarang bersantai. Kalau saya dulu bisa tiap hari nonton anime dan baca-baca buku, sekarang cuma dua-tiga kali seminggu. Tapi lama-lama terbiasa juga, sih. 
”]
Abaikan yang barusan.
Baiklah, ternyata jadi curhat parah begini. Sebenarnya saya nggak mau berpanjang lebar dulu sekarang, lagi menunggu momen yang tepat. Nanti kalau sudah waktunya saya akan tuliskan lagi. =w=
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[1] Gambar diambil dari sini melalui Google Images.
Leave a CommentIt was the day of my appointment as a leader. That time, I can’t help but lamenting on the ridiculousness of what happened: how come some overly introverted and deficient person appointed to lead a group of eighteen people? But she who placed me in that unfitting position seemed to know what she had decided, and she looked like she had made the correct decision. “Perhaps I’m the best of the worst,” I tried to give myself some “motivation”.
Even with all the halfheartedness, I striven to serve the people I was leading. Yet, as I had predicted, they wouldn’t listen to me at all. Or maybe only a little. When there’s fault that happen to came to the people I lead, it was I who must took the responsibility. Briefly said, it was pathetic.
Another day, I lost my faith in myself and asking for my resignation to the person who appointed me back then. But what that person has said to me? “You really don’t understand what being a leader means”. And so, with my request rejected, I wondered about what she said. I still haven’t found the answer until the time I took an even greater responsibility came.
I was elected as leader of an organization, this time far bigger and higher than the previously mentioned. And what followed was exactly the same as happened before. I felt nothing but helplessness. The organization I was leading was nothing than just list of people. I even didn’t took part in an important event that should have me involved. In the end, I met a terrible failure. I believe I was ruining my organization, though no one has said I had done so.
And that’s how my years of leading passed. The days after that, I only wondering of those blunders I’ve made those times. And, well, I realize that all I used to be wasn’t a leader at all. I just telling people whom I thought to be my subordinates to do this and that without even listening and understanding them. There are way too many mistakes to explain here, I suppose.
But the least I could learn from those failing days was: leading is a heavy burden and one should not have pride just because oneself is a leader because it is nothing to be proud of. And that’s why I always respect the people who act as my leader, because leading is not a simple matter.
1 Comment